J

 J is for Jesus

I would be remiss if I didnt mention the one who saved my life. I grew up in less than ideal circumstances. I remeber between the age of 10-12 telling God that if He loved me, if He were real then he would save me from the household I was in. From that moment on I lived my life believing I was in control. I could do a better job taking care of me than God ever did. That decision would lead me downt he most destructive dangerous road. I learned after many years that I was actually a foolish leader. Like the king and his invisible robes. I was a complete fool. at the age of 23 Jesus came and met me where I was. Broken, abused, breathing yet dead. He gave me new life. Hope. Purpose a new identity! He gave me what I had been looking for all those years. Safety and unconditional love. Jesus has never left my side. He has walked with me through all of my darkest days. He has whispered sweetly my name and my worth when I have felt less than loveable, rejected by those closest to me. He has shown His marvelous mighty hand at work through situations that are so much more complex then just chance could ever orchestrate. He has softened and healed my heart that I can be patient and kind in return when someone I love treats me poorly on a bad day. I dont need someone to fill my needs, Jesus is enough. The past has hurt. Yet without it and Jesus I would not be where I am today. And today im in a pretty good place.