G

 G is for good girls.

I hate that expression.  We might as well call them groomed girls. I am so tired of society grooming girls to be leered at by men. This isn't just a singles problem, this isn't just an economic problem. Its a married problem and a rich women's problem, its not bound by colour or religion.  

For every 90 articles out there that tell brides to dress nice, look nice, always be smiling and buy the hottest panties to keep your husbands eyes from roving, there might be 1 that says the same thing about husbands.

Its almost laughable, husbands, shower daily, shave just as often, care about how you look as a way of telling her you care that she is attracted to you. Say to the ladies around you Sorry girls I am all hers. 

Ha

Its on us to make sure our husbands are satisfied at home. It is not on them to make sure we are satisfied at home. My husband doesn't even care if I am satisfied at home. He tells me its too painful to be nice or that he sorry that him doing his own thing hurts and because he doesn't want to intentionally hurt me than that fact that he hurts me should be a mute point. Sigh. 

Add to this my heart is defiant and rebellious to the core. I struggle to trust humans that I can see coming, let alone a God I cant. I believe in Jesus Christ and in his Resurrection. I believe I am a sinner saved only by His grace. I just struggle even within the church this doctrine of submission and how it plays out in marriage. If  husband is going to ignore his wife for months on end, then whats the problem of getting somehting done that makes her feel like a woman. If hes not going to take that responsibility seriously that the wife struggles with worldly desires that the husband has the tools to help her fight those temptations and leaves her in the cold... then what. She has an affair and he blames her. But when he had his affair it was her fault for not doing enough in the bed, saying no too many times, pretending to be asleep. The hurts spiral deeper and deeper they both have them they both feel them. And more often than not the man feels justified and the women feels lonely. 

This isn't just in society at large its within our own church, our own small group, our own kids marriages. Our own marriage. its a beautiful design run by unqualified humans. Who disregard the instructions and do what they think is best, 

Maybe we should just go back to the basics, single, or married. What does the Bible say about equality?  We are equal heirs to the throne of God. We have the same amount of gifting, the same amount of the Holy Spirit, we can choose to dig deeper we can choose to bury our gifts and talents. but if we are both seeking God earnestly however that looks then is it possible to avoid objectifying? To love your wife simply because she is who she is. I know for a fact that it i possible to remain attracted to your spouse after an affair so I just see no excuse for treating yours spouse as an object either way, for pleasure or for your own selfishness keeping them locked in the cold bitter recesses of past hurts in the depth of your heart.